<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Harry Potter and the Coronavirus by StupidStory</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29899689">Harry Potter and the Coronavirus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidStory/pseuds/StupidStory'>StupidStory</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 18:27:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,962</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29899689</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StupidStory/pseuds/StupidStory</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and all his wizard friends have to take the rest of the school year at Hogwarts online due to COVID-19 while Harry is left to fend for himself at the Dursleys.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Harry Potter and the Coronavirus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“____ is the reason I blew it at my job interview.” Hermione read the black card aloud. Ron, Harry, Fred, and George all looked through their hands of white cards, each putting one face-down in the center of the play area. When they each placed their white cards, Hermione flipped them over and read them one by one.<br/>	“Denying the Holocaust is the reason I blew it at my job interview. A cat video so cute your eyes roll back and your spine slides out your anus is the reason I blew it at my job interview. Being dead is the reason I blew it at my job interview. Poop sculptures is the reason I blew it at my job interview. ” Hermione paused for a moment, thinking hard. “I'm gonna go with the cat video. Who had that one?” Fred's hand shot up almost immediately. Hermione gave him yet another black card to add to his ever-growing pile.<br/>	“Damn. You and George's black card piles are almost at the ceiling by now. You guys are absolute pros at this.” Harry said with slight envy.<br/>	“Hey guys. You all gotta come down to the Great Hall for an emergency meeting.” Filch said urgently. All five students exchanged confused glances and hurried down to the Great Hall. Dumbledore was at the podium.<br/>	“I have called you all here in the Great Hall for a matter of grave importance,” Dumbledore announced, once all of (actually most of) the students in the school were seated in the Great Hall. He then continued. “A student in Hufflepuff, who I shall not name due to privacy reasons, has tested positive for COVID-19. But since they're Hufflepuff and therefore only barely important, we don't have to worry about it spreading. But we hope the situation doesn't develop any further, and it shouldn't since Hufflepuff is the least important house.” <br/>Harry giggled at the thought of Umbridge, Malfoy, and Snape getting the coronavirus. McGonagall whispered something in Dumbledore's ear.<br/>	“Apparently someone from Gryffindor has also tested positive for COVID-19. Since Gryffindor is like the ThunderClan of Hogwarts, this is a major concern. In order to keep this from spreading like wildfire, you're all going home and will need to finish up the rest of the year online. This means that the rest of the Triwizard Tournament, which we very recently decided to make into an annual event, will have to be cancelled. The rest of the term will be taught thru Zoom, whatever the bloody hell that is. Instructions will be delivered via owls as soon as I can figure out how to use the Neville-damn thing, but due to budget cuts, not everyone will be able to get a laptop, so if you're one of the unlucky ones to not get a laptop, I dunno. Just deal with it somehow I guess.”<br/>	“NOOOOO!” Harry screamed. The thought of him having to spend an extra long time with the Dursleys made him want to point his wand at himself and yell “Avada Kedavra.” Heck, he'd even rather suffer the Cruciatus curse.<br/>	While everyone went up to go pack their bags to take the Hogwarts Express home, Harry just stayed there, studiously reading his books, even his common core Defense Against the Dark Arts book.<br/>	“Harry,” Filch shouted. “Everyone else is leaving. Go leave too. I've been sent up here to sanitize the common room and dorms with about 50 billion gallons of Lysol.”<br/>	“Absolutely not. I'm staying right here in Hogwarts. I've faced much worse threats than a coronavirus, like the Dursleys, the Basilisk, Voldemort himself, Umbridge, the Triwizard Tournament. I'm not worried about getting sick with a measly coronavirus.”<br/>	Filch ignored him and dragged Harry out kicking and screaming and all the way out to the Hogwarts Express, like a littlie throwing a temper tantrum being restrained by their parent. The Hogwarts Express had to take multiple trips to and fro due to not being able to take everyone at once due to the social distancing protocols. Meanwhile, Dumbledore was trying to figure out how to use Zoom, but it was like my mom trying to figure out how to overclock an RTX 3090 graphics card while successfully setting up Valve Index base stations.<br/>	“Oh for Neville sake, Accio tech support!” McGonnagall waved her wand, and then some tech support guys showed up to save the day.<br/>	Harry begrudgingly went back to uncle Vernon's house. Now what? He knew that Uncle Vernon had his very own computer, but could there be any possible way to sneak some usage on it? Using his precious time he had while Vernon was MIA, he went on. For some reason he hadn't logged out, which was super convenient. Just out of curiosity, he decided to peek at his Facebook timeline, which was filled to the brim with nothing but right-wing politics and QAnon conspiracy theories. Vernon would totally lose his shit if he saw me doing magical E-learning on his computer, but maybe I can look up how to build a computer, Harry thought. How did the Hogwarts staff possibly think it would be a good idea to force students to be able to use the internet for all their classes when even the average Muggle boomer was more well-versed in technology than the average young wizard? He had no idea how to use the internet or what the internet even was, but maybe, just maybe this life hack was crazy enough to work. <br/>“Accio video on how to build a computer.” To his surprise, Internet Explorer started up, and then automatically went to a YouTube video on how to build a computer. This particular one was posted by some guy named HowtoBasic. “Oh, HowtoBasic. Awesome. With a name like that, I know I can trust it because it'll teach me the basics on how to build a computer.” The supposed tutorial quickly devolved into stabbing various parts with a screwdriver, breaking open eggs into the computer case, pouring milk on it, peeing on it, taping a CPU fan to his leg, etc. Harry watched, making sure he got everything down. Not at all the tutorial he expected but Muggles had to do something to compensate for having no magic, so for all he knew, that all could have been correct. He knew stores somewhere still had computer parts. “Accio computer case, GPU, CPU, motherboard, RAM, fan, etc.” Yes, he actually did say et cetera. In a moment he had all those things at his disposal. He didn't have to worry about the Ministry of Magic coming after him for using underage magic in the Muggle world because social distancing. Dementors didn't wanna get COVID.<br/>	He crept silently down to the kitchen and grabbed some eggs from the fridge. Wait a minute, why did he need to bother with that when he could just accio whatever item he needed to build his computer?<br/>	“Accio screwdriver, milk, more eggs, Bran flakes, microwave pot pie, etc.” He watched the video again and again just to make sure he got the steps right. Stab the GPU with the screwdriver. Pour cereal into the case. Squish a banana into the GPU fan. Break open eggs onto various parts. Smash various parts with a hammer. He had no idea why he had to do all these odd things but he knew it would lead to a working computer that he could work from home on.<br/>	“What the bloody devil is all that racket up there?” Vernon shouted from downstairs.<br/>	“I'm building a computer,” was Harry's reply.<br/>	“What the devil for?”<br/>	“I have to-” Harry stopped himself. He couldn't tell Vernon that he was going to be learning witchcraft and wizardry from home, so he had to come up with a lie. A devilish grin spread across Harry's face.<br/>	“You'll be happy to know that Hogwarts school is shut down so I'm not gonna be learning there anymore. I'm building a computer so I can sit on my lazy butt and do nothing but play PC games for the rest of the school year and summer while I put on serious weight due to my sedentary lifestyle, and I'm sure you'd rather I do that than learn magic, right?”<br/>	Vernon narrowed his eyes. “Absolutely. I'd rather you be morbidly obese and depressed than for me to get COVID.” Harry began to wonder if Vernon loved him at all.<br/>	He hurried back to his room and turned on his unorthodox machine. To his surprise it actually worked somehow. The screen showed the Windows logo with an egg cracking over it, with the yolk dripping down, and “Windows Eggdy Five” was written underneath.<br/>	“Alright, I'm in!” Harry pumped his fist in the air. “Okay, now what?” Since the school didn't give him his own laptop, there was no owl to give him the info to log onto virtual meetings.<br/>	“Ron or Hermione, can you please give me the URL so I can attend class?” He wrote on a slip of paper and put it in an envelope that he handed to Hedwig.<br/>	“Oh, I almost forgot.” Harry sprayed Hedwig and the envelope thoroughly with Lysol spray so she wouldn't spread any unnecessary germs. “Okay, take off and go now.”<br/>	Hedwig came back with instructions for how to access virtual class meetings. Harry typed in the corresponding URL and made sure the webcam was on and not muted so he could get the most from his classes. First up was Care of Magical Creatures, which just consisted of 45 minutes of Hagrid demonstrating taking care of Blast-Ended Skrewts and Hungarian Horntails. Since they weren't in-person, Hagrid was able to feel more daring about what kinds of creatures he could lecture about. <br/>	History of Magic was boring as always, and since it was a virtual version, that amped up the boring factor. “This is so boring I think I'd rather take my chances with the virus than listen to him drone on and on about the History of Magic over Zoom.”<br/>	Next up was lunch break. Yes, virtual lunch break. The Hogwarts staff sat at long tables two meters apart and ate some decadent looking stuff on camera. Their chewing sounds were ASMR just for that extra level of immersion.<br/>	“It's almost like you're there with us, isn't it? Here, I'll let you try some of my Derek tips. You'll love it. Well, try it if you have the ingredients to make injera, lentils, lamb, meat tips, and awaze sauce, since you can't eat with us in person.”<br/>	Tears streamed down Harry's face. “THIS JUST ISN'T THE SAME!” He sobbed.<br/>	Next up was Transfiguration.<br/>	“Today we will be learning how to transform objects into fidget spinners. Find something in your room to practice on. Okay?” Harry grabbed a box cutter knife and went through the motions guided by McGonagall and before he knew it, he had his very own working fidget spinner. <br/>	“Harry, it's time for dinner!” Vernon yelled from the doorway, then he did a double take.<br/>	“Wait a sec, are you doing some of that work from your demonic school ? YOU LIED TO ME!”<br/>	Vernon wrestled the computer away from Harry.<br/>	“LET GO! I NEED THAT!” Harry ultimately lost the tug-o-war to Vernon.<br/>	“Now you won't be learning from that satanic school of demonology.”<br/>	“ACCIO COMPUTER!” Harry cast, but the computer couldn't wriggle itself free from Vernon's iron grip. “Flagrante!” The computer grew hot enough to burn Vernon's hand and he immediately dropped it. Harry tried again.<br/>	“ACCIO COMPUTER!” The computer began to move toward Harry.<br/>	“OH NO YAH DON'T!” Vernon was not having it. He quickly grabbed a towel from the bathroom and ran at surprising speed toward the computer and picked it up with the towel between his hand and the surface so he wouldn't get burned, carried it to his gun safe, and locked it shut. This was it. Harry broke down like Ariel witnessing Triton become the possible inspiration for McJuggernuggets' psycho series. Unless...<br/>	“ALOHOMORA!” Harry cast at the safe. To his delight, the safe opened. Now he could grab what was inside. <br/>	When Harry got back into his room, he was surprised to find the door missing. <br/>	“If I can't take away your computer, then I guess I'll have to interfere with your studying. I took away your door so I can come in literally anytime I want! Woodchipped it too just so it would die a final death.” Vernon laughed evilly.<br/>	While Harry's Zoom classes were going on, Vernon talked loudly in the background about right-wing politics and QAnon conspiracy theories. Occasionally he also danced shirtless in between Harry and the webcam, blocking Harry's view of class.<br/>	Harry wrote another letter.<br/>	“Can I please study with you guys? My Uncle Vernon is being a total dick to me. He's not letting me do my NTI since you know how he is regarding Hogwarts related matters.”<br/>	He got a reply back.<br/>	“Sorry bud. That would violate social distance guidelines if we studied together.” He couldn't believe it. No way.<br/>	“What if I wear a facemask?”<br/>	Reply:<br/>	“They're not 100% effective, which means you'd be killing grandma.” Harry punched the window sill in frustration. Arguing with a fool would make him just as much of a fool as the person he's arguing with, so he just left it at that.<br/>	That night Harry dreamed about a door at the end of a long hallway. The hallway was long enough for him to need binoculars to see the door at the end. Not wanting to get the quarantine 15, Harry jogged all the way down the hallway to the door. The door was surrounded by a bluish glow that was coming from the other side. When Harry was about to open the door, he woke up. He had had this same dream every night since lockdown started.<br/>	“I am going out to study with my friends, consequences be damned.” He silently vowed to himself.<br/>	Harry put his invisibility cloak on and snuck out via his bedroom window, using cat-like parkour to get himself down. He boarded his broom and headed toward the Burrow where Ron and Hermione were somehow allowed to both study together and knocked on the door.<br/>	“Hey Harry. Wait a minute, what are you doing here? We're supposed to be following social distancing guidelines. Have you tested negative for COVID-19?” Harry hadn't ever felt the need to get tested yet, but that would totally conflict with the answer they would want to hear.<br/>	“Yes, I've been tested, and I tested negative just before I got here so we good now right?” Harry lied.<br/>	“I guess,” Ron said begrudgingly. <br/>	Harry, Ron, and Hermione all used Ron's laptop to watch Snape's potions lecture. They had to all go out and buy the ingredients themselves and follow along.<br/>	“Uncle Vernon, I finally learned my lesson,” he told his uncle who might have loved him but had a funny way of showing it. “No more of that black magic devil worshipping bullshit. I'm just gonna play video games day in and day out.”<br/>	“Awesome! I'm proud of you!” Vernon said, sounding sincere. Never in 6.022x10^23 years did Harry ever imagine those words coming out of uncle Vernon's mouth, directed at him.<br/>The next couple weeks Harry continued to sneak out and study over at the Burrow. One ill-fated day the unthinkable happened. Harry coughed. He brushed it off as nothing because sometimes people cough just randomly. Then he coughed again.<br/>	“You okay, Harry?” Hermione asked, sounding concerned.<br/>	“Yes, I'm okay.” Harry lied. He started feeling chills. “I feel in the mood to dance for some reason.” Harry got up and danced while singing Disco Inferno by The Trammps. This better not be COVID or Vernon is gonna kill me, assuming I don't kill him first since he's high-risk. I absolutely cannot go home now, he thought. Harry also began feeling super-fatigued, but he could not let that show, had to carry on dancing. As a result he collapsed on the couch, out like a light.<br/>	“Harry? Are you sure you're okay? Do we need to take you back home?'<br/>	“No!” Harry answered bluntly, despite the fact that he was too tired . Mrs. Weasley felt his forehead.<br/>	“Oh my, you're burning up. I don't think you should be here.”<br/>	“Yeah, well I don't think I should go home either. Also, even if I am sick, if we can deal with Voldemort, we can surely deal with sickness. Nothing we can't handle. Everybody wins.”<br/>	“DON'T SAY HIS NAME!” Ron shouted like a Twitter wokescold. “You can say every single gingerphobic, homophobic, transphobic, or racial slur if you want, but He-who-must-not-be-named is ABSOLUTELY off-limits!”<br/>	Harry took a cup of tea and took a sip, and found that he could not smell or taste it. No Neville-damn way!<br/>	“I like how minty it tastes,” Harry lied in a desperate attempt to cover up his loss of taste.<br/>	“Minty? That's apple tea. Apple tea isn't minty. What are you hiding?”<br/>	“Nothing.”<br/>	“Why did you call it minty? Can you even taste?”<br/>	“Because I'm weird like that I guess.”<br/>	“Get out. You are hereby banned from the Burrow until we can be sure you're not sick.” Getting kicked out by his friends stung more than a Dementor French kiss.<br/>Once he got back he took his own temperature with one of those glass thermometers with mercury inside it because he had no idea how to operate the LCD thermometers or the ones that they aim at your head at the entrances of gyms and theme parks to get a quick read. <br/>"And now fever. I think I might have COVID. Accio COVID test.” A cotton swab flew in through his bedroom window. It took Harry a couple tries to say that without being randomly interrupted by coughing or having to take an additional breath. He swabbed the inside of his own nose. So far, in fact, that it literally touched the back of his brain, and by literally I do mean literally, not figuratively. I shouldn't have to explain that. You'd have to be a special kind of stupid to use literally when you mean figuratively. Okay maybe that might have been a tad too far, Harry thought as he temporarily forgot how to blink.<br/>	Since he had no idea how to administer a COVID test on himself or if he even did it right, he snuck out again to get on the Knight Bus, which was now doing drive-thru COVID testing. I dunno why I didn't think of this first.<br/>	He came back home, ready to cough about infinity jillion more times.<br/>	“QUIT COUGHING! You're too loud!” Uncle Vernon yelled from just outside Harry's door.<br/>	“Vernon, I think I might have COVID.”<br/>	“Then don't leave your room ever. Simple as that.” And then Vernon did a double-take. “Wait a minute. You had to have left your room sometime in order to even be able to catch COVID since we've all tested negative but we're all introverted homebodies who work from home now, not to mention I'm in the high-risk category.”<br/>	“I swear I never left home.” Harry lied. He immediately realized that he wasn't  sure how long he could keep this up. Or would he even need to?<br/>	“If you never left home, please tell me how you could possibly have gotten COVID.”<br/>	“I dunno. Aliens, maybe?”<br/>	“Nice try. If you ever leave your room, your ass is grass.” Vernon threatened.<br/>	A couple days later his COVID test came back positive. I figured as much. Then he realized something. Unless Vernon was somehow willing to risk getting infected himself, he no longer had to worry about Vernon messing with his lessons, and as far as he knew it was impossible to spread COVID-19 through computer screens. Then he had an idea come to mind. He pointed his wand at his nasal cavity, being careful to aim at any viral particles and yelled “AVADA KEDAVRA!” Right after his spell connected an error message popped up. “WTF man?” He tried again. Same result. “Guess I'm gonna have to ask about this.” Professor Umbridge was their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, so she might know.<br/>	During Defense Against the Dark Arts, Harry raised his hand. “I have a question, Miss Umbridge!”<br/>	“I cannot hear you unless you refer to me using the proper greeting.”<br/>	Harry sighed in frustration. “Emperor God of the Universe who is better than Jesus Umbridge, I have a question. I am currently sick with COVID and I aimed my wand at my nasal cavity but an error message came up. I'll even demonstrate it for you. Avada Kedavra,” Harry yelled, aiming the wand toward his nasal cavity, being careful to aim specifically for the virus. A green jet of light shot from his wand, and then a floating BSOD appeared right in front of his face.<br/>	“Yeah, apparently it does that when you try to use the killing curse on viruses. When the curse's inventor was coding the curse's parameters, he didn't think to specify about whether or not we should consider viruses as 'alive', just assumed it would just 'know'. So the curse doesn't know what to do in the event that its target is something that is debatable whether or not it's actually a living thing so it just crashes like a computer program would.”<br/>	“Neville damn it!” Harry cursed, right before coughing a fudgeton.<br/>	“Now stop coughing you dipshit and pay attention,” Umbridge demanded. She continued her lesson on defense against U.S. politicians.<br/>	Harry walked downstairs for dinner, not really caring if he infected Dudley or Vernon, and he found Dudley watching some horror film that has an audience alienating premise.<br/>	“Oh my Neville, is that Human Centipede?” Harry asked as he walked in, trying not to vomit.<br/>	“Sort of.” Dudley answered.<br/>	“What do you mean 'sort of'?” Harry asked.<br/>	“I'm watching Socially Distanced Human Centipede, which is pretty much the same thing as Human Centipede, except instead of being sewn directly ass to mouth, a 6 foot long pipe is sewn to their butthole and the other end is sewn to the next person's mouth and so on, so the people in the centipede won't spread COVID-19.”<br/>	Harry put a lightbulb on his head, then chanted “Wingardium leviosa” on the lightbulb so that it levitated above his head and then cast a spell to turn it on without it being screwed in. Harry's mouth twisted into an evil smile and then laughed evilly. “I have an idea on how to get revenge on the coronavirus once and for all!”<br/>	In a bit of cathartic rage, Harry peeked thru his newly acquired electron microscope and used a microscopic sewing thread and needle to sew SARS-COV2 mouths to other SARS-COV2 buttholes. But first, he coughed in Vernon's face. <br/>	“That's for disavowing my wizarding lifestyle!”<br/>	Anyway, now all the SARS-COV2 viruses that have ever infected anyone ever were now sewn to each other in a massive  coronavirus centipede. Whenever the virus in front pooped, everyone behind it would brace themselves for a mouth full of poop. They would soon regret causing a pandemic.<br/>	“I have no idea what I expected to accomplish by doing that. Viruses are still gonna virus,” Harry lamented.<br/>	Next day's History of Magic was slightly less boring than usual. Binns was lecturing about Merlin's contributions to magic, including the Avada Kedavra curse, and about his house having been converted into a museum. Hmmm, Harry thought. I wonder....<br/>	After classes were done for the day, Harry messaged Dumbledore.<br/>	“What's up Harry?” <br/>	“What do you know about Merlin or spell programming?”<br/>	“Quite a bit, actually. I know how to read spell code and I've even created a few myself.”<br/>	“So anyway, professor Binns was talking about Merlin's home and I would like to go there, just to see what kind of stuff he's been working on.”<br/>	“I know where that is. Unfortunately we'll have to sneak in. Fortunately tho, I'm the one who designed the security system, so sneaking in should be a non-issue, and you're my favorite student, but don't tell anyone I said that. I'll take you there if you want.”<br/>	“Dude, I'm still sick and you're like probably at least 300 years old, which if my calculations are correct, is above 65, so I think you're very high risk.”<br/>	“Stop being so sensitive on my behalf,” Dumbledore said like a boomer who posts videos of themselves ranting on Facebook. “I am well aware of the risk. If I can say Voldemort's name, I can risk anything for you, or my name isn't Albus Dumbledore. Meet me at your street corner in about 15 minutes.”<br/>	Harry snuck out of his room one final time and struggled to walk the relatively small distance to the street corner due to being short of breath, chilly, achy, and congested. "I really hope this plan is all worth it in the end."<br/>	“Hello Harry.” Dumbledore suddenly appeared, took Harry's hand, and apparated to somewhere that appeared to be where a redneck might live. They were right outside one of those sketchy houses at the end of a miles long driveway. The mailbox had a barely legible paint on it that appeared to read “Merlin” so they knew they must be in the right house.<br/>	“Alohomora,” Harry opened the front door and the two of them went in. They walked thru a short hallway to a large room art the very end of the house that kinda looked like Dumbledore's own office but much larger. The walls were all covered in giant sheets of papyrus with lines of what looked like programming code.<br/>	“Wow. So this is the workshop of THE Merlin, the one who invented numerous charms.” Harry stared in awe at everything, temporarily forgetting about his achiness and fatigue. The walls of papyrus was the source code that every single wand in existence would know and transcribe from its owner.<br/>	“Over here!” Dumbledore gestured. “Here it is. The papyrus with the Avada Kedavra source code on it.” The name of the spell followed by lines and lines of code, defining different parameters. Harry looked at the code and wasn't sure he could make heads or tails of it.<br/>	“Dumbledore, what does all this mean?”<br/>	“You'll learn spell programming in your final year,” Dumbledore answered. “But for now, leave it to the professionals. A ha! Here's the line that defines what counts as alive.” Dumbledore pulled out a quill and dipped it in ink. “Do you wanna do the honors Harry? All you have to do is write “viral particles” in this extra space here.”<br/>	“A HA HA HA! OH NO YOU DON'T!” A curse fired seemingly out of nowhere and hit Dumbledore, temporarily stunning him, making him stunning and brave. Harry knew that sickeningly sweet voice all too well.<br/>	“Umbridge?! What are you doing here? We're about to potentially get rid of the COVID-19 virus once and for all.”<br/>	“I'm afraid I can't let you do that. Those viruses that I created have done a pretty good job making sure you never have any fun ever again.”<br/>	“Wait a minute. You created the SARS-COV2 virus?”<br/>	“Yes. Remember earlier in the year when I didn't want any extra-curricular activities happening so you all found ways to circumvent all of that? Well, I decided the best way for you all to stop having your precious fun would be to create a highly infectious virus to force you all to not get together!” Harry was so livid he felt like he could cough in Umbridge's face unapologetically. So he did.<br/>	“Hope you get hella sick, professor UmBitch!” Harry wished angrily.<br/>	“Nice try, but I made sure to infect myself with it just before infecting the rest of Britain so that I would have some immunity. I knew anyone who got sick would want to cough directly on me so I prepared for that.” Umbridge quickly jumped in front of the papyrus with the Avada Kedavra programming code on it, forcefully seized the quill, and dramatically broke it in half.<br/>	“I know what you guys intend to do. My viruses shall be here to stay!” With Dumbledore still stunning and brave, Harry used up most of his stamina to bend down and pick up the inked half of the quill.<br/>	“I dunno what you were trying to accomplish by breaking that in half since it's still functional.” Harry wrote in the missing virus parameter using the broken quill.<br/>	“NOOOOOOOO!” Umbridge screamed. “My precious coronaviruses are now as good as dead!”<br/>	“Try it now.” Dumbledore ordered, talking to Harry, now just simply brave, no longer stunning. Harry pointed his wand inside his nasal cavity and yelled “AVADA KEDAVRA!” Nothing unusual happened this time. Just to be sure, Harry took the Knight Bus back to the COVID testing site, and a few days later his test result came back negative. Now that viruses counted as living things according to the killing curse, all the students and staff were ordered to use Avada Kedavra on their nasal cavities if they weren't feeling well or tested positive, and this eventually stopped the spread enough that they felt comfortable resuming in-person instruction at Hogwarts, just in time for the school year to be over, much to Harry's disappointment as that meant he had to go right back to the Dursley's. As a coping mechanism, Harry took the time to heavily research how to build a gaming PC, what hardware specs he'd need, and how to hook up a Valve Index to it so he could play Half-Life Alyx, all of which he bought using the small loan of a million galleons that his parents left him.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>